Wednesday, July 1, 2009

My Wednesday

Today, as i sat on the bench waiting for my bus, a tall thin man who clearly was a psychopathic , sat next to me. I did not make eye contact, yet he decided to strike up a conversation. This is how it went...

Psychopathic: Hey, haven't seen you around here lately.Me: Hi, yeah...Psychopathic: What do you like to do?Me: Not much.Psychopathic: I can tell.Me: (Smiles awkwardly)Psycopathic: What did you do today?Me: Not much. I'm a not much sort of girl.Psycopathic: I can tell that too.Me: (Laughs nervously)Psycopathic: I'm from Maleny, do you go up there much?Me: No, i dont.Psycopathic: Do you remember me?Me: No? Psycopathic: Yeah, it was one crazy night.Me: I'm sure it was.

-Bus Comes, he jumps on the same bus! I scamper and sit next to CC-

Landsborough Train Station, walking over to the car.

Psycopathic: Cya later. Peace.Me: Bye.Psycopathic: God, your beautiful.Me: (Laughs nervously again...get to the fucking car hannah!)Psycopathic: Can i shout you a beer at the pub?Me: (Shakes head and jumps in the car)Mum: How was your day?Me: Just drive!
Psycopathic walks over to our car. Mum in great haste locks the doors.Ha!He wanted a lift up to Maleny!

No where is safe. Lock up your daughters and sons, god lock up your teddy bears!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Byron Bay

Byron Bay, the hippy capital. Set off down there Saturday afternoon. Rained. Couldn't find the unit and Jarrad being a manly man wouldn't let me call to check where it was. Wandered around and got lost. Found it. Went out for dinner. When it came to paying for it we didn't know how. Got the bill. What do we do with this now? Paid for the over priced dinner. Left in great haste. Took a drive up to the lighthouse. The rest is for your imagination. Woke in the morning, jumped on Jarrad. Showered. Dressed. Packed. A quick one night stay. Drove to Pottsville to the markets. Spotted some dikes. Jarrad giggled. On to Hastings Point and Cabarita Beach for lunch. To Kingscliffe for petrol and a much relieved toilet stop. So relieved in fact Jarrad got onto the highway and started going to Ballina. Turned around. Headed home. Rained. I slept for an hour. Got back to Beerwah.

Yeah, my weekend in a nutshell =]

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Movie Marathons

I now look at Movie Marathons with disdain. They are just an excuse for security guards to do the whole "we have authority because we have the badge" otherwise known as a power trip. They are just an excuse for girls to hook up with randoms and give them blow jobs. They are just an excuse to start commotion with the audience by yelling "penis"

I sure won't be going to another one.
Bloody pay bloody $20 to fall asleep in three bloody movies while some bloody boy is getting some bloody action from some bloody cum sucking blonde bimbo with an obnoxious bloody voice. Vindictive slut.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Well, i did it. I achieved what i set out to do.

Last night i decided to shoot up to space in my superwoman outfit which consisted of a red cape. Yes, only a red cape. My mission? To show what the aliens are missing out on by not coming to earth! I moon walked, i space danced, i cyber shuffled my way around the galaxy starkers, butt naked, completely and utterly in the nude (apart from the cape)!

Yes, i know.
I'm amazing.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

You know...

You know that relieved feeling you get when you've just let a pee out that you've been holding in for ages?

Yeah, i'm feeling that right now.
Except i haven't peed, i've finished my English Assignment a.k.a the devil incarnate

Whose awesome?
I AM! :D

Monday, May 11, 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009


He's pretty amazing.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


Forkplay new brand of Foreplay only better

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


I'm known as Hannah, Fardee, Han or Luigi.
I'm a daughter, i'm a sister, i'm an aunty, i'm a cousin, i'm a friend, i'm a girlfriend.

When can i just be ME?

I know to some that may be a weird question to ask because we all become a me when we are born but i'm asking it. I'm questioning it. I'm questioning my small, paranoid, indecisive, weird, doubting, trustless, hopeless being.

I just want to feel safe in my skin. I only want to think about me for once and not others.
I want to be able to cast aside the things people do that bothers me and say fuck it! its your life...not mine...go do what you want but when shit hits the fan don't come to me for sympathy

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Today is Tuesday.
The day is Tuesday.
It is Tuesday today.
Fuck i love Tuesday.
Not really but i just like saying Tuesday.
It rolls of the tongue real nice.

Tuesday is a great day because i have maths in the afternoon.
I really love a teacher who teaches the kids she wants to teach and neglects the others.
I'm in the others category.
So is Dale because he is Dale and i quote "all teachers hate me because i'm smarter then them"
He's also a ninja.

And then there is Tasha who draws naked girls for her to later masturbate over.
No really, she does because they are good drawings. With big eyes (no squinty eyes to be seen) so they can see Tasha's ecstacy.

Ryan then follows, Tasha's trusty sidekick (otherwise known as the boyfriend)
He likes to draw cars, Aldi's preferrably because they are Tasha's favourite.

Yeah, thats pretty much it.


Saturday, May 2, 2009


Why do i have The Ultimate fantasies?

Because they involve Russell Brand and Peter Griffin.
One is a hysterical, eccentric pommy bloke with a high sex drive and the other is a morbidly obese cartoon character...[mmm, cartoon sex]
I pretty much have the best dreams involving these two...

Driving in my car, car, CAR!!

I hate traffic
I hate it how people don't indicate
I hate it when guys in trucks look down to check out your "junk"
I hate it when lights turn amber..."there was enough green in that, right?"
I hate it when trucks pull in and expect you to move over or slow down
I hate it when my brother trys to distract me and i get the giggles
I hate it when someone steals my car space
I hate it when i start panicking

I pretty much hate everything about driving, yet i love it.

A love hate relationship?

Go figure.

Live, Love, Laugh

So Proud =]


How many Dales does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who needs a lightbulb? Dale has enough energy alone to light up a room!

Fuck we're awesome.

Bow down to the Masters of the Internet! When you are all having a good night out on a Saturday Dale and I are making Epic translations of the afterworld...

Yeah...completely off track...but it sounds cool, ok?

Don't judge me.

You know who's a legend?


He has way too much energy to be from Earth.

: |

Jarrad is at the Casino tonight and i am making a start on my English Assignment.

Fuck this!

Fuck school.

Friday, May 1, 2009


Feeling pretty average tonight.
Not at all quirky or sarcastic, for once.
I feel a tad like the drawing below.

Except my hair is curly and i'm not as skinny.
I'm not pink either and i haven't a mono brow (or maybe i do?)

Thursday, April 30, 2009


I just watched a movie called Amusement with my dear friend Emily.
It was about a young chap who tortured three girls for his amusement, hence the title.
Rather good but now i am scared of clowns even more.

Google defines clowns as: people who amuse others by ridiculous behaviour. Does that include stalking people and torturing them?

Don't think so.
Definately not having any clowns at my next party unless they are stripper clowns...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

"My spoon is too big"

"I'm a Banana!"

Yes, this is what captivated my small mind and made me talk in an American accent for quite some time. I probably would never have found this funny if it was not for the friendship of a certain Tasha person who in Grade 10 scared the living daylights out of me. Her whole approach to life started to appeal to me, though, and after some time we became great friends. But that was only when i realised she was not going to rape me at every opportunity.

"Rudolph the black nosed fuckwit"

It's an addiction,

I have an addiction so great it is unbelievable...


I just realised it has been two months and i have not formally introduced myself.
How rude of me!

I'm Hannah.
Formal enough? No?

Good evening ladies and gentleman,
My name is Hannah, it is a pleasure to meet you all.
Because i just have so many followers.
I'm overwhelmed.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Letting go

I looked into the eyes of the man I once heart full of contempt. He looked so happy...his green eyes were sparkling and his lips were curled into a delightful smile. I studied the woman whose face was upturned and looking up at him. This was the woman...the woman whose cunning moves and manipulative words moved in on my man.

I knew it would happen but he just couldn't see that he was like a fly being caught in a spider's web. My friends think i should move on...perhaps they are right? But when you have given your heart to somebody it is hard to get back. And if it is broken, as mine is, it is impossible to retrieve every last piece.

The smiles, the hugs, the kisses, the laughter...all the moments we shared still linger in my mind...but you do not have moved have another...i should move on, i know i should. Easier said then done.

I changed for you, i made myself into something i didnt want to be...for you! How stupid! And all because i thought it would make you love me more. But still found still found me still found another to fit your perfect mould.

I cried so hard the day we broke up...i cried so hard the day i found out you were with her...whose cunning, manipulative ways caught you and one day i hope will suffocate you!
You are dead to i am to you...its time to start over and gradually pick up the pieces of my broken let another love grow


She looked at him...his tall, tanned, muscular body aching to be with her. His eyes, those piercing blue pools of desire, staring...longing. She turned, reluctantly, for he was another womans man now, no longer her man.

She turned, lifted the skirts of her jade coloured dress and ran...ran from the past and into the future...but what would her future be? He wouldn't be in it. Her love. Her life. Her whole entire reason of being.

When she stumbled into the door of her cottage, what had been their cottage, she curled up into a ball beside the crackling fire and cryed for the things lost...the things that could and never would be the same. The tears cascaded down her cheeks and into a pool beside her head....